Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page. 1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds.
- Did you hear the story about the middle aged lady who went to the casino? Sandy went to the casino for the first time and ended up by a table playing roulette. One Liners (21) Short Jokes (23) Text Jokes (15) Sports Humor (10) Football Jokes (2) Golf Jokes (3) Soccer Jokes (1) Sports Jokes (5) Witty Jokes (31) Clever Jokes (15.
- It would take 288 years for one person to spend one night in every hotel room in Las Vegas. Shrimp consumption in Las Vegas is more than 60,000 pounds a day. That's higher than the rest of the country combined and adds up to 22 million pounds per year. The Stardust was the first hotel in Vegas to add a sports book to its casino.
The topics for this week’s puns and one liners is gambling jokes. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump highest. I like a gambol.
Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.
How do you become a millionaire through gambling? Start as a billionaire.
I’m going to an Abba themed poker night. The winner takes it all.
Lost money betting with with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah.
Did well at strip poker the other night. I played my socks off.
I gambled on a giraffe race the other day. Mine came second. Lost by a neck. It was nowhere near.
I took a gamble and bought a small boat without seeing it first. It was a punt.
I used to love eating chips until I got barred from the casino.
I bet on a horse at 10-1. It didn’t come in until half past three.
Walking down the road earlier and I tripped over a sign from the local betting shop. What are the odds on that?
A friend of mine keeps insisting on skipping through flower meadows. I think he has a gamboling problem.
Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? They always fold.
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Last week’s snooker jokes are here.
If you like these gambling jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
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Last night I got thrown out of a casino… apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table.
In Vegas they’ll bet on anything. One casino was ready to let me bet on whether I’d win or lose there.
I’m going to the casino tonight. I hope I break even. I need the money.
I had nothing to do, so just for a laugh I went to the casino. In three hours I’d laughed away my car.
What is the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years the dog quits whining.
What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? 21 card game rule. In a casino, you really mean it!
Adult Jokes One Liners
Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs (ok that was lame).
Gambling Jokes One-liners
The wife of a doctor called the casino to get her husband paged. They refused. The house doesn’t make doctor calls. Largest casino in louisiana.